I’m sure you've seen the Tik Tok trend over the last month of people having a conversation with their younger self. When I went to hop on the trend I started to brainstorm what I would want my teenage self to know.

I don’t believe in regretting past choices as without them I wouldn’t be where I am today. I’m living the life I dreamed of having as a teenager: I’m incredibly happy, married to my best friend and pregnant with our first child.

I wouldn’t give my current life up to go back for a second. However there are a few messages I would love for my teenage self to have had.

1. High school is not the be all and end all.

To give you some context, I went to an all girls grammar school for high school. There was drama everyday, friends falling out, pressure to fit in by looking and dressing a certain way and overarching all of that was the pressure from the school to do well academically.

Although there were some big lessons to learn while I was there, I wish I knew that most the girls I was comparing myself to and getting upset over I would never see or talk to again, and the few I do still have in my life our relationships look a lot different now. I can count on my hands how many girls from school I still talk to. Gone are the days of petty fights and now I have friends I can rely on through thick and thin, which I am eternally grateful for!

I wish I could tell myself that the pressure to do well in school was not healthy. While I was going through it I thought if I didn't do well in school I wouldn't succeed in life. I worked so hard to get the grades my friends seemed to be getting just by showing up and would go into exam rooms really stressed.

Looking back now I see that was I was experiencing was small panic attacks before each exam and not knowing that wasn't normal. If I could talk to my teenage self I would tell her to speak to family and teachers about what I was feeling going into those exam rooms.

I'd also tell her that she's much cleverer than she thinks she is. The old me would be amazed that after university I would go on to get a masters degree, become chartered and find a job where I am constantly learning and evolving . I’d let her know it’s enough to just to be curious and enjoy learning new things.

2. It’s OK to be on your own timeline and to not have a plan.

As teenager I was always comparing myself to others, from what I was doing to what I planned to do. Everyone I knew seemed to have a plan of what they wanted to do in life and a timeliness for how and when they would get there.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt over the years is its OK to not be doing what everyone else is doing or what my next step is.

An example of this was when I finish my masters program, I had no clue during the program what I wanted to do afterwards other than work in Water Management. My parents told me that instead of focusing on the next step, just focus on the current one and take some time to work the next one out.

As I finished up the program I moved back in with my parents, got a job in a local shop and spent several months working out what to do with my life. My friends around me either had graduate jobs they had walked into or were pursuing vocational degrees which had a clear path to a job at the end. I felt like a failure.

It took me six months to work out a plan and within another two I was offered positions at two of the biggest engineering companies worldwide and buying my first home, years before most my friends bought theirs.

Over the years I’ve learnt plans change and what may be the right thing for someone else just doesn’t work for you. So yes have an idea of what you want and work towards it but if it starts to not work for you feel free to pivot, take some time and work out the next right thing for yourself.

3. You will end up with him, don’t worry about it so much!

I met my husband at 16, we’ve been together through it all. From teenage romance, living down the road from each other, years at different universities, jobs in separate cities, then finally being able to live together, buy a home together, get a dog, finally get married and now we are pregnant with our first child. It’s definitely been a ride!

For many years I wondered if it would work out, particularly the teenage years when we were apart at different universities. Now looking back I’m so grateful for that time, it was hard but allowed us to grow as individuals as well as strengthening our relationship. If I could, I’d tell myself it will all work out the way it should, enjoy the process.

What would you tell your teenage self? Let me know below!

Ju x